I worked on three reality shows over the past 365 days – I calculated about 11 weeks per show so about 231 + days devoted to my job. From Tabatha’s Salon takeover last summer to Kitchen Nightmares to the brand new show Bar Rescue I travelled across the United States while my family awaited my return. I am ecstatic to be home with them this summer but re entering a family system you have helped build can be a challenge when you return.
My husband, Jevon, is a first class dad (and sometimes mom). He is able to juggle kids, school, sports practice and games, music lessons, meals, housework, pets, our finances, his job, home maintenance, extended family issues, and all the other details of life while I am away. I am well aware how extremely fortunate I am. When I am on the road with a show because of the unbelievable work hours I am not as connected as a parent/spouse with a 9 to 5 job would be. When I am not working I am eating a meal or sleeping. When I come home it takes me a little time to realize that I will get 8 hours of sleep each night! There is, however, a period of adjustment for everyone in the family when I come home from the road.
The biggest adjustment is the passing of the baton of daytime activities. Jevon and I have different approaches to chores, discipline and appointments and early on we used to argue about techniques while the kids attempted to take advantage of our distraction. Luckily we live by the United Front approach to parenting and stand together whenever the children attempt to divide us over an issue. We do miss things from time to time in the transfer of information and it can make for a stressful moment when classes or doctor’s offices call to say the kids missed a lesson or an appointment. I tend to plan day to day checking the paper calendar in our home. I have all the electronic options available but am still tied to the old fashioned pen and paper method of keeping track. When my phone goes off to remind me of an appointment it is handy but by that time I have already blocked the plan in my head. The system breaks down if something is not added to the physical calendar so my challenge is to make time to run through it and add things when I return. I am not always on top of this and so pay the price of missing things. Fortunately working in reality television on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and the like has given me tremendous perspective. I have a happy and healthy family and as long as no one is in any kind of danger we can weather missed appointments.
The second adjustment is in discipline and relating to the kids. Each time I go away it is long enough for my children to pass into a new stage of development. Sometimes big sometimes small. I have come home to great excitement followed by endless tears depending on the stage. It takes me time to shift from production designer/art director to mom and I must remember to give them time to get used to me being home. There was one homecoming that started with hugs and kisses from my daughter and ended in her tears because I had asked her to put away her laundry. When I sat down with her I discovered she had had some conflict at school while I was away and never had a chance to express it as fully as she needed to. Those are the hard times – when I realize what I missed.
The third adjustment is in my relationship. Being away from the love of your life takes its toll. I can dive into work and he can dive into work and our home but it is so hard to not have the day to day contact. When I come home I am always so thankful for my husband. Sometimes the flight has been long, or I haven’t eaten in hours or my body is just thrashed from a hard show but every time I see him again I am in love. I only wish I were better at saying that first instead of saying “I am hungry” or “the flight sucked” or ” I am so tired”.
Tonight I am going to see Bob Dylan with my husband. It’s a date we have been looking forward to for some time. Summer is here and I am not working out of town. Hurray!!!
I have been working in reality television for many years. My first show was Extreme Makeover: Home Edition on ABC. It was one of the highlights of my professional life. The workload and deadlines were brutal but I expected and loved it. I had not anticipated the incredible friendships I would make while working on the road. One friend, in particular, shared the most poignant moment for me on the road while we worked in Florida. Daniel Kucan and I met on his first show in Maryland. I was helping him with a stuntman room and he was getting used to the chaos that surrounded our circus. But it was in Boston that a girl touched both of our lives and would later bring us to that moment. While frantically assembling a soccer room for Ed Sanders I was approached by a young lady of about 14. She wanted to help out with the room. Volunteers typically came with a group or organization so I asked what company she was with and she said ‘Make a Wish’. I asked which department she worked in and she looked confused. “No department”, she said, “this is my wish”. The hair on my arms stood on end and I was flooded with the desire to give this child anything she wanted so I asked her to describe the wish exactly. “To work on an episode of Extreme Makover: Home Edition” and help the designers and especially Ed Sanders on his room. I told her she was in luck because she was in his room and I really really really needed her help. We raced to set up the space. We filled plexiglass head board with soccer balls. We put finishing touches on the soccer mural, Karen Lipson, the Design Producer who collected all the amazing décor, rushed in and out with items to arrange. Alicia carefully assembled shelving and periodically checked in with Ed to see if he needed anything. At the conclusion of the home Alicia came to me to sign her journal. I remember feeling so grateful to be part of her experience and guide her through the wonderful process of bringing a family home. She was trying to beat cancer and I know for that day she got to step away from the battle and help someone else. What a wish. It was several houses later and in Florida that I got to see Alicia again though we had stayed in contact through email. She had come to see another build and was celebrating her one year anniversary of the bone marrow transplant she received from her brother. I was ecstatic! I ran into the trailer to tell the cast she was visiting and the first person I saw was Daniel. I told him she was here and he remembered her too! She had helped him in Boston as well. The next thing was so spontaneous and so natural. I told him she wanted to see him and say hello and that she was celebrating a year in remission. As I finished the sentence we both sprang fountains of tears for her. Meanwhile, our co workers stared in bewilderment. It was really lovely to let all that emotion just tumble out for the hope and joy.
Alicia just graduated from high school in spring 2009.
I was asked to attend the Reality Rocks Expo with my Extreme Makeover Home Edition team. It was awesome! I recreated the Paint By Numbers mural that I designed for the Pope family on Season 2. I had such a great time working with volunteers on a project and reminiscing about the chaos and excitement of a home build. There was a special effects makeup booth so I urged my team to go get a scary make up job. Many obliged and we had members with bolts in their head and glass shards and pencils in their arms. It was like Halloween for us. I also met some amazing people as we painted the areas I had outlined in the three panel giant canvas mural. One young lady kept coming back and wanted to skip lunch to keep painting. Her mom and I talked her out of it but as soon as she finished eating she was right back on the wall! It was fun to see Diane Korman, Michael Maloney and Eduardo Xol at the booth. The evening ended with an awards ceremony where EMHE won for best design show. All in all a great night!
I had worked for about 40 hours straight on my feet taking food and restroom breaks here and there. I had even attempted to take a nap on the bus but failed miserably to the adrenaline pumping through my body every time I could hear Ty on the megaphone cheering on the teams of volunteers. The cast had offered a bed in the back of the bus for me to rest. I was beside myself as I walked in. It was a fully loaded rock star touring bus with a complete kitchen, bath, lounge and master bedroom. I had never been in one before and I just looked around in awe. This was what rockstars tour in and I was stunned to be experiencing it. I made my way to the back and sat on the bed. I could not believe how much my feet hurt when I sat down. I carefully took off my shoes and immediately regretted the move. It was like all the blood in my body flowed into them at once and they throbbed like never before. Sore from standing and exhausted I swung them up on the bed and some of the pressure subsided. My spine swayed into the mattress and my joints groaned in gratitude for the break. Gravity was no longer pulling my entire weight to the floor through my poor feet but rather through my bones happily cracking the joints in my spine. Finally relief! I was almost exhausted enough to fall asleep. Almost. While physically I was shutting down my mind could not stop jumping for joy over the recent experiences – coming to the show, working at a sprinters pace to help a family, helping the team reward altruism, designing on the fly and working with other volunteers to put a room together for a young boy, knowing that this show was bigger then every person involved in its creation. Far and above the most fulfilling work experience I have ever been a part of. Then came the sound of a megaphone calling out the time left. It was like I was hit with a bolt of lightening. ”Two hours left everyone, we have two hours!!!” That was it, fatigue and recovery had to wait. There was only two hours left to pitch in and I could rest later. I was up, shoes on and headed to the carpentry tent to find Paul and Preston. When they asked me how my rest was I told them I just couldn’t do it. I wanted to help to the end. I had seen a TV going in Trevor’s room but no nightstand, no reading light and no books. I asked about the nightstand and the guys didn’t have one. I asked Preston if I could make one and he said yes. That is when I gathered two other volunteers ( I wish I could remember their names as well as I remember their faces but my mind was on autopilot) and we worked together to create the football pad nightstand with a plexiglass top. I asked what we had around that could be a cool pedestal and what we had for a surface. A volunteer brought me the shoulder pads and I asked a carpenter to fashion me a “t” stand. Next I ran off to find a piece of plexiglass in the scrap pile. While the two other volunteers built the stand I grabbed a jigsaw, plex blade, safety glasses and sandpaper from the art supply truck and set ab
Trading Spaces was a fantastic show to work on. I loved the cast and crew and was sad when the show came to a close. One of the rooms I designed had an interesting challenge. When we pulled up the teal carpet the floor was a very unattractive linoleum and my budget was only $1000. Since the focus of the room was family/entertainment I wanted to be sure to spend wisely. Some of the products used in sealing wood floors have incredible durability. Brown paper with torn edges creates a very unique look when laid out in a scale pattern. After running some tests I decided to go for it. The final result was a floor that looked like aged leather. It was beautiful and warm. A vast improvement from the 70′s inspired faux brick linoleum. The application was fairly straight forward. We tore the brown paper into 1′ x 1′ imperfect shapes, rolled polyurethane on the floor and both sides of each sheet as they were applied and overlapped the pieces slightly. When the floor was installed we followed up with three additional coats of polyurethane for strength. The beauty of this floor is the ease for patching damage. If it gets nicked or scratched it can be easily patched with just brown paper and polyurethane.
We currently have two dogs a cat and a frog. Our home is a whirlwind of activity as we move from room to room through an obstacle course of toys, dog chews and a cat who prefers to sleep in the middle of the narrowest paths. Our lab/bassett hound Bosko, our cattle dog Tigerlily and our cat Wonkat get along beautifully. I watched Wonkat clean Bosko’s face the other night and when he started to get tired of the chore Bosko would nudge the cat with his snout to continue. This went on until Wonkat got annoyed and bit Bosko on the lip. Bosko is a stout and short chocolate lab. I tell people before they see him to prepare themselves that he looks like a full size chocolate lab standing in a hole. He is short in stature but absolutely not short on personality. He is the most joyful creature I have ever met. When I come home he greets me and leans in for hugs. It is hard to be in a bad mood when our big slobbering goof ball pet comes bounding up to greet you. I have taken to calling him “fat boy” or “tank boy”. While this may sound like an insult it has a deeper meaning for me. I have been attempting to keep him safe with this affectionate term. You see our last lab was Guinness. I always called him “skinny boy”. He was such a calm stoic companion. He was quiet but very loving and very pensive. His trainer advised me to spend a lot of time making him more jolly as his homeless puppyhood must have been less then steller. We lost Guinness to a seemingly benign tumor that turned out to be a cancerous disaster only a year after appearing. He essentially withered away after his surgery and finally lost a fight to congestive heart failure. We were devastated by his loss and his companion dog, Tigerlily, was heartbroken. We knew we had to find her a new mate or we might lose her too. We used Lab Rescue and were introduced to Bosko. He was a lab/bassett who needed a loving family. So, here I am today waiting to pick him up from our vet. He just had a small tumor removed from the same location as Guinness’ and the vet is concerned it might be malignant. I tried to protect him with an affectionate name and I find myself reflecting on the irony. I don’t know what will happen but I do know when the lump appeared I did not wait to have it removed. I am praying we got this one in time so my “fat boy” can remain fat and with a family who thinks the world of him.
Mural in progress in San Bernardino
I painted for hours afraid to walk away from the room. I was working on a television show to help a family and the situation was so surreal I thought it might disappear if I took a break, that I might wake up from the dream. Paul and Preston came back in to check on my progress and to tell me dinner was being served. They asked me to join them and I was thrilled. They led me to a food truck where I was invited to order from the posted menu. As I waited for my plate Ty walked up and said hello. I tried not to sound like an complete idiot by attempting to make small conversation. I told him I was excited to help out and that I had contacted the show to offer my mural services. To my astonishment he said he knew about it and that he was glad I could make it out to help. We all sat together in a tent set up for cast and crew. I enjoyed the hot meal while Paul, Preston and Ty talked about the house and greeted other cast as they sat at our table. On the outside I tried to remain cool (I have never asked the guys what they saw) but on the inside I was so overwhelmed with excitement. It was the coolest work meal I had ever had. I just soaked up the situation with complete joy. When our meal was done I hurried back to the room to paint some more. I painted and painted and painted. As night closed in other volunteers checked in with me to see if I needed help. One woman stayed in the room with me cleaning the floor and windows while we chatted. She was so friendly and I loved having someone to talk to about this incredible experience. At about midnight a young man, named Alan Luxmore, came in with a bi-fold closet door. He said he was told to re-face it to be smooth the small mural I had suggested to Paul and Preston through email before I arrived. I wanted to do a trompe l’oeil of the inside of a locker with football equipment and a hanging jersey. Alan was clearly very tired and when I asked him how long he had been working he said he wasn’t exactly sure. He still had a tremendous sense of humor and we teased each other about how much work we both had left. He installed the doors and I started to sketch out the new task. The activity through the night was amazing. The house was coming together as carpets were installed, furniture was wrestled through doorways, plumbing fixtures were brought up the stairs, and cameras jockeyed about to film the progress. A large piece of synthetic turf was delivered into the football room and I continued to paint while dancing out of the way of the carpet installers. At about 4am the energy in the house slowed down but did not stop. I was so tired I couldn’t see straight but I kept on painting. At one point I dozed off against the wall with paintbrush in hand but was able to shake it off and continue. One of the house painters witnessed this and recommended I just lie down for a little while. He worked in the hallway outside the room touching up paint so he could keep anyone from disturbing me. I will always be grateful for his kindness. I dozed for about 25 minutes which was just enough to get up and work again. The sun was coming up outside and I could tell the work activity was going to speed up again any minute. We were almost there because it was the morning of the day I would get to see my first “Move That Bus”.
Whew! We made it through Science Fair week and my daughters both completed their projects in time. Working with kids on school projects can be time consuming and stressful. My biggest challenge is to step back and let the kids solve the problems. On many occasions the kids remind me that they are fine and know what they are doing. It has taken some time but with their help I have found a happy medium. I stand by and anticipate road blocks in their process. When the frustration mounts I present solutions and choices that my child can look at. One project my daughter was working on was an invention to mash up food with a rock. The assignment required four simple machines and needed to be demonstrated in class. As I make it a point to recycle whenever possible, I was determined to find the parts for her creation within our room of chaos, the garage. Our garage is filled with all the tools and products I typically use for any given job. Saws, drills, hammers, nails, screws, and such crowd one side while acrylic paint, brushes, paint trays, canvases, and drawing paper take up the other. Drop in about 10,000 miscellaneous items of varying sizes, which I accumulated because I was sure they would have a purpose someday, and you can see what I am talking about. So, long story short, I assured my daughter we would find all that we needed for her project right here at home
Kids projects
. I must mention that while I am artistic and creative I have never been called a mechanic or an engineer. By the time it sunk in that her design required a conveyor belt, a pulley, a wedge and a screw my overconfidence caught up with me. Luckily my daughter really worked out the mechanics of her machine so we set to work digging through my supplies and setting aside possible components. In the end she did it. I used the power tools but to her specifications and directions. She tried each tool with proper safety equipment. In a spontaneous move I went to use bolt cutters on a paint roller and she chastised me for not wearing my glasses. All in all a great building day with my daughter. The Mish Mash 2011 worked beautifully and my daughter was so proud of her accomplishment.
On the Extreme bus
I was painting a mural of a football stadium. I wondered why the other artist, a single young man, was assigned the Winnie The Pooh nursery. Here I had three children, two were toddlers, and my 8 year old son was still reading Roald Dahl’s Winnie the Pooh. It made me nervous as I painted the stadium, complete with a stylistic crowd in the stands, that I would get some football field detail wrong and be called out as a fraud. The whole time I could feel the time lapse camera watching me and recording everything. Accidentally I brushed paint on my nose and when I was wiping it off and out I turned to see the camera staring at me. “Oh great!” I thought, “I will end up on network television picking my nose”. My fear of failure was stronger than my ability to be star struck so when about a six people with cameras, sound equipment and clipboards came bustling in with Paul Dimeo and Preston Sharp I introduced myself but kept working. The two of them were like a well versed comedy team. Preston was the straight man and Paul was the funny man. They reminded me of an old married couple as they bickered about the details of their shared assignment, the football room. They were hilarious to be around and I drank up there routine but kept on painting. They moved on with their entourage to assess the other upstairs rooms as I paused to take in what had just happened. I was still painting and I hadn’t been asked to leave. So all was good, so far. There was a lull in the upstairs as Paul and Preston descended to the first floor to have a go at the rooms there. I loved the moment of quiet because I could replay what had just happened in my mind adding details that included me saying witty things and impressing all (this was a fantasy of course). I was on the set of an active television show, the energy was electric. I was having a fantastic time even with the internal doubt that filled my head while I worked. I hadn’t left the wall for seven hours, not even to use the restroom. I didn’t think I had the luxury to waste any time so I stayed put adding details to the field. I looked out into the hallway to the top of the stairs just as Ty Pennington popped his head up. I had been a fan of Trading Spaces and particularly of Ty’s so this was very exciting. Before I could say a stuttering hello he was gone.
It was a fortunate thing to be on the set of my first television show when most of the cast and crew were sleeping. It gave me time to take in the process at my own pace. The only production person on set late was the night cameraman, Charlie Engle. I was in the house amidst power cords, ladders, air hoses, fans, compressors and about 30 men working like crazy to get the dry wall up and taped when a lean man in his mid-late thirties walked in with a camera on his shoulder. With an easy smile and very kind eyes he introduced himself as Charlie Engle, the show’s night cameraman. I told him that I was to paint a mural in the son’s room and was called to start at 11pm. It was then 11:30am and the walls were still wet with drywall mud and wouldn’t be basecoat painted for some time. He laughed and told me that was not surprising. He recommended I get some rest and he would wake me when the walls were ready. I introduced myself to the head house painter and asked him to keep Charlie and I posted on their progress as we walked out. “The bus” was filled with cast resting for a few hours, so the only place to lie down was a couch in the production wagon. Luckily I had brought a blanket for just such a delay so I curled up and attempted to shut my eyes. It was useless, I could have run 5 miles, dry walled the house, leaped up and down singing the Star Spangled Banner, nothing was going to remove the adrenaline from my system. I was on a set for a television show that I believed would be incredible and gearing up to paint a mural in one day. Nothing could shut down the energy. Three hours later I had apparently conked out but awoke with a start to a man in painter’s whites calling my name from the doorway. He was the head painter and he wanted to know if I could take a look at some colors that were left for him. I got up with a cloudy head but quickly came to when I remembered where I was. I followed him into the house and he showed me the three colors and pointed to the kitchen, living room and entry. He needed to start but wasn’t given directions on which color went where. I opened the cans and walked them into each space. By the number of gallons present and the wall space available I called out one accent wall in the living room, a bright color for the kitchen to make it cheerful and the lighter earthtone for the entry. I shook my head worrying that I had overstepped some line but knew that there was only a day and a half left to complete this house and someone had to make a decision to get construction to the next step. The painter told me the room I was to work in still had wet drywall but he would let me know when the basecoat was up. I headed back to the couch to wrestle away the new burst of adrenaline. At 5:30am I awoke to a gentle pat on the shoulder from Charlie. “You are good to go!”, he said. The cloud cleared instantly and I was up gathering my brushes, buckets and tools and bounding after him. It was a cool, slightly foggy morning so we walked quickly across the frontyard to the door of the house. I was amazed at the progress since 2:30am. The roof was being shingled and the entry, living room and kitchen were all painted. Amazed I jogged up the stairs behind Charlie to the bedroom. It was base painted and ready to go. There was not a carpet in place so I laid out my things and began opening the paint cans sitting in the room. Jeanette, the design producer, had taken my color order and, as promised, had them waiting for me in the room. I was about to dip my brush when Charlie said to wait. He needed to set up the camera to film my project. I was stunned and scared at the same time. I didn’t know this was the plan and up until this point I designed, painted, sculpted and built things without an audience. I was very introverted when it came to creative projects so this was a bit frightening for me. Charlie told me not to worry. The camera would only take a bit of footage from time to time. It was a time lapse camera so it would record at intervals so it could be played back at high speed later. He then handed me what was to become my wardrobe for the next four years, the infamous blue t-shirt with the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition logo on it. “You need to wear this when you are working on the house,” he said. I pulled it over the shirt I was in and set to work. My new friend set up the time lapse and I tried desperately to relax while I set to work on my first mural for EMHE.
